www.TheWillaWoman.com

"No, you cannot touch them." Oy.

Four jobs I have had in my life: Lifeguard Editor of IBM newsletter called Bits and Bytes Video editor for the Boys Scouts of America Booking agent Four movies I would watch over and over: Poltergeist Hell Raiser National Lampoon's Vacation Planes, Trains and Automobiles Four places I have lived: Irvington, NJ Wallkill, NY Burlington, VT Austin, TX Four TV shows I love to watch: Law and Order (any spin-off) Survivor CSI (original series) Big Brother Four places I have been on vacation: The Jersey Shore Destin, FL Maine Minnesota Four of my favorite foods: Raisins and peanuts Home-made fruit salad New York (or NJ) pizza Pork Ribs (NOT spicy) Four places I would rather be right now: The Jersey Shore Visiting my family Jogging, hiking, biking Anyplace but in my recliner Filed under: Q&A

I've spent some time puting together a Q&A page for this blog. Here's the link . What do ya think?

A friend (hi RuthAnn!) recently gave me a great idea for this blog. I'm going to write a nice bio and keep it at the top of the page. That way, new readers can get an overall picture of what this blog is all about rather than having to put together the story with individual posts, especially since most are now in the archives. If any of my current readers (and new ones too!) have any specific questions for me that I can address in the bio, please let me know! PS. Hi Alexis! Psyche!

Q: Mike C. said... "Do you have some sort of special toilet at home? How difficult is it to get out of the chair and onto the pot? (I have a visual of some crazy pulley system or something)." A: Mike, in my case at home, I don't have to transfer from my wheelchair to the toilet. I walk about my home, usually with a cane. (Ok, not "usually", I'm predominantly a "wall-hugger" at home!) I have two Home Depot Comfort Height toilets installed. These have a taller base so I don't have to bend my knees a lot to sit down. In addition, I have a grab-bar mounted next to each toilet, also from Home Depot. Funny, when my shorter friends sit on my toilets, their feet barely touch the ground. Makes them feel 4 years old!

I thought I'd post this again to stir up some more questions from y'all! Go ahead and ask. Ask the questions you always wanted to ask someone in a wheelchair. Nothing is too embarrassing. You might as well ask me on this blog since you are somewhat anonymous and don't have to look me in the eye. What have you always wanted to ask someone in a wheelchair? Here, I'll start: Q: "Hi, my name is Ace Freely! I wanted to know what color is your wheelchair? A: Well, Ace, my first wheelchair was a boring teal color. But my current chair is what's called "toxic green". It really "stands" out! The salesman said that only kids ordered that color, not adults. I said "I'll take it"! Howze that? Ask away, no question is off limits! (Oh Jeez, what am I getting myself into!) The WillaWoman

A while back, someone had asked me what I thought it would be like for a male to have my disability. Since I'm not a male, that was a difficult question for me to answer. But today I had a thought. Knowing that my hubby, who is a male (doy!), is the sole provider for our family, I wondered what it would be like for him to suddenly become disabled. Because he's so laid back, I would think he would take it like he does every other of "life's little emergencies" and basically just deal. But how would he really feel if he could no longer do the physical tasks that he does now? Assuming I was not disabled, how would he feel if he had to rely on his wife to not only provide the bacon, but cook it, clean up, and take out the garbage? I guess that's a question for him, but he probably wouldn't even know the answer. It's one of those questions that can only be answered if you can actually experience what it's like. And I don't want him to ever have to e...

QUESTION : The Torch Singer said... I really like your song. I was wondering if you could tell me how you got your music into your blog? How did you get that music bar and the music to play instantly? Thanks, Nadia ANSWER : Hey Nadia! Here's the HTML code I use to display the small Quicktime player you see at the top of my blog (and in The WillaWoman's Jukebox down in the left column). This code is in my blog template: <embed src="http://www.link_to_my_song" autoplay="false" align="center" height="15" width="145"></embed> The parm "autoplay" is set to false now so the song does not play automatically. This gives folks the choice to listen or not. And I hope you listen... and enjoy!

QUESTION : LL asks..... Ok...I am soo annoyed right now. Jack has decided that the shaker can is a toy. And when I say NO he just barks back at me. I am so annoyed. He is being REALLY stubborn. The potty thing has gotten MUCH better, and he is actually going to the door when he wants to go out. But he is being a royal pain in the ass when he decides he wants to bark at me. Its like a bark where he seems to be talking to me. Like one bark...look at me...bark....look at me...growlish bark...look at me. All the while I am saying 'no bark' and if a can is near...It's just making it worse it seems. I think to him when I say 'no barking' its like I'm talking back to him, and he responds. So I've tried completely ignoring him. And then he started nipping my feet to get my attention. As if the barking I can't hear. Can you tell I'm annoyed??? ANSWER : Ok, you are dealing with a similar issue I have with Frankie, so I think I can help! When Jack barks at yo...

QUESTION : Candice said... Oh dear! My year old border collie is still pooping in the house! I got him from border collie rescue about 2 months ago, and he has never seemed to have gotten it. I think he even comes in from outside and goes into the other room to poop. A friend of mine who works a lot with border collies told me that I need to keep my eye on him all the time, but it's hard. She suggested baby gates. I am just about at that point! ANSWER: When a dog is older, it's harder to break them of what has become a long-standing "habit". But it can be done. My suggestions: If you have a yard and are letting him out the door, try instead taking him out on a leash. Keep him outside to potty as long as possible. Next time he poops (inside or outside), move that poop (use baggie or plastic gloves, ew!) to a spot outside where you'd like the dog to go all the time. This will help "mark the spot". Take him to that spot all the time....

Crappy day today, so short post. Q: Why don't blind people sky dive? A: Cause it scares their dogs. Oy.

QUESTION : Sherri said... I have a question/comment about the "please stand" thing. The friends I have in wheel/power chairs usually complain about stiff necks leaning back to talk with me (I'm on the tall side). Because I have my own lower back/hip problems, I can't stand still for very long, but I can crouch, kneel or just sit on the floor pretty easily if we could not move somewhere there were chairs. It always seemed a good compromise. I had no idea that some might consider it insulting. If I do get involved in a "standing" conversation with someone in a chair who doesn't know me well, do I need to explain that my kneeling/sitting has more to do with me than with them, or should I just skip an explanation that might be considered patronizing? ANSWER : I guess the best answer is to simply do what you would do talking to anyone else. If your back hurt while talking to a non-crip, you'd pull up a chair and o...

QUESTION : LL wrote - ok...so you know how I was litter training jack...well I didn't like that cause the litter is messy, jack liked to chew the litter, and also he missed his box a LOT not even realizing it. So I switched to like a glorified pee pad thing (basically a pee pad holder)...better on clean, but the problem of him missing is still there. So then I decided to just train him to go outside, and he can go inside if needed. To do this, I figure I need to start over basically, and slowly remove the glorified pee pad all together from his options at first, b/c he would never learn how to tell me he needs to go outside. Problem : he has had more accidents in the house lately than he has had even when he was 12 weeks old!!! This has become an ISSUE, or at least is becoming one. He peed TWICE inside today right in front of me, once ON the couch, and once on the living room floor. Since he is old enough to hold it, I am just not sure how to decipline him. He knows abou...

I got a nice email from Ricky, owner of No Pity Shirts . Question from a fellow-cripple : I don't understand much about service dogs. I have a cat who is the best emotional therapy ever, but he isn't much into pushing my chair! You wrote about your dogs pulling (pushing?) your wheelchair - how does this work? I imagine there's some type of special harness? Could you show us a photo of a dog pulling somebody in a chair please? ANSWER : Ricky, my Service Dogs pull my chair. Willie and Frankie both use a harness designed by Nordkyn Outfitters . They both use a SiWash-style harness . JoJo used a harness designed by Bridgeport Equipment . Here's a picture of JoJo in her harness (that's Willie in training as a puppy!): Short video of Willie pulling: Dial-up Link Broadband Link Full video of Willie and us on the news: Dial-up Link Broadband Link Thanks!

QUESTION : ina said... Now I'm not sure what to do. I always crouch to be at eye level when I'm talking to someone at a table, a kid, or a patient who's stuck in bed. I HATE having to crick my neck if someone - especially someone who's in power (e.g. a doc, when I'm in the OR) -starts talking down at me. It's worse because I'm incredibly near sighted, so I don't feel like I can talk to someone at that angle and know what the heck they're thinking. So am I being condescending to everyone? or should I just keep doing what I've always done? Thanks! ina ANSWER : Ina brings up an interesting point. I would say that for me, I prefer to have someone not crouch down. In otherwords, don't treat having a conversation with me in the middle of the mall any different than a conversation with an able-bodied person standing in the middle of the mall. Don't treat me like I'm sitting at a table ('cause I'm not) or like I'm a kid, or...

Today's a poopy day for me, so I'm gonna post 2 recent comments. One is the question, and then a nice blog visitor provided an excellent answer! QUESTION : Alison Ashwell said...Is it a good idea for a standing person to crouch down when speaking to someone in a wheelchair or should they just bend over. I suppose it is maybe individual though I'm asking because i have tried both approaches when i worked in retail [while i was at college] and i'm not sure if i unadvertantly offended some people. I have of course worried over it since then. ANSWER : Wilena said...Willa glad you stopped by my blog and introduced yourself suggested by my daugher-in-law (JamieDawn). I have had to use a power chair for about a year now. In answer to Allison's question " should you crouch down to talk to someone in a wheelchair ". Allison if you see someone sitting at a table and go over to talk to them, do you crouch down to talk to them. No, you would stand up straight an...

QUESTION : zandperl said... I've heard that "ordinary" people wouldn't be able to stand a day of using a wheelchair because of the callouses you need on your hands. How long did it take you to get used to using a wheel chair? If you've used one all your life, maybe you could say how long it takes others if you know. ANSWER: It wasn't the calluses for me, I've always used 1/2 finger mesh gloves with padding on the palm. They are very helpful, especially with braking. The things I had to get used to were dirty hands (carry wet naps), and arm and back strain. Arms were never meant to be legs. The two things that helped me were instructions on proper wheelchair usage (from a physical therapist) and losing weight. Oh, and the third thing: my Wheelchair Service Dogs! QUESTION : Stormwind said... I'm glad that your self esteem isn't tied up in your form of mobility. Do you think there is a difference in how males handle that versus females in a ...

QUESTION : Andy said... "How do you do other.....stuff? :) Dogs are good for you, everyone should have at least one." ANSWER : Good question, Andy! Just because someone is disabled doesn't mean they still don't have those human needs. What a disabled person needs to do is find what works for them. Experiment, get some books on positions, and just keep trying! Thanks for asking! ======================= QUESTION : catz-eyes said... "hi, my name is jay, and i'm curious: do you ever 'forget' that you're in a wheelchair...? or is it something your conscious of 24/7?" "also: is there anything 'positive' that can be said about being in a chair, in your opinion/experiences?" ANSWER : Jay, I can't say I've ever forgotten I was in my chair. But because it's become such an extension of me, I can say that I don't think of it as something I need to forget. The positives I've experienced over the past 12 year...

K, this wasn't the first question, but I'll answer it first since today is kind of a crappy day. It happens. QUESTION : Lone Ranger said... Who played Lumpy on "Leave it to Beaver?" ANSWER : Frank Bank played Clarence "Lumpy" Rutherford (1958-1963) Here's his book . Honestly, I never watched "Leave it to Beaver". I think I'm not old enough... I was born in 1961. I watched "I Dream of Jeanne" and "Charlies Angels". I wanted to be the Kate Jackson character, tomboy-ish but still hot. I think I succeeded! HA! (In case you haven't noticed, just because I'm now a crip doesn't mean my self-esteem has lowered any. That's not an easy feat for all, but was for me. Dunno why tho'.) -------------------- Thanks for all the questions. I'll post answers in the coming days and I WILL answer them all, I promise. Keep 'em coming!

Go ahead and ask. Ask the questions you always wanted to ask someone in a wheelchair. Nothing is too embarrassing. You might as well ask me on this blog since you are somewhat anonymous and don't have to look me in the eye. What have you always wanted to ask someone in a wheelchair? Here, I'll start: Q: "Hi, my name is LaLaundria! I wanted to know how do you take a shower?" A: Well, LaLaundria, I sit down. On a shower chair. I have grab-bars installed in my shower/tub and my commode rooms to give me extra balance. A shower chair is a hard plastic chair made to fit in showers and tubs. I have a shower massage type shower head that helps get the water closer to my hair. Howze that? Ask away, no question is off limits! (Oh Jeez, what am I getting myself into!)