How To Deal

If you want to be friends with a crip, here's a few things you should know (this is pertaining to my specifics, ie. wheelchair, dog, fatigue...):


  • I take a long time to get ready to go out somewhere. Kind of like taking a non-housebroken toddler (they say that about kids, right?) to the mall. I have a lot of paraphernalia I have to deal with. Dog, harness, collar, wheelchair, pad, water, purse, cane...
  • You should like dogs.
  • You're gonna get dog hair in your car and house, and on your clothes.
  • Strangers ask me lots of questions. Sometimes personal. They may ask you questions too.
  • We'll be the center of attention. We will NOT blend in.
  • I may get challenged for access or run into accessibility problems. I do speak up and I do fight for my rights.
  • There are no "quick" shopping trips.
  • Once we get to our destination, I take a while getting setup. Just stay in the car and wait. I don't usually need help and go faster without someone hovering over me. I have a system!
  • You might get discounts or other benefits by hanging out with me. Sometimes I get moved to the front of the line, especially at theme parks. And I get to ride the attraction twice. Invite me to Six Flags! (But there are some rides I can't get onto.)
  • My dog potties too. Outside.
  • My dog also farts and sniffs people. Get used to it.
  • Some people are afraid of dogs. Even Service Dogs.
  • My dog may pull me faster or slower than your pace. Adapt.
  • I get tired quickly.
  • I have more bad days than good. I may cancel or have to say "no" to lots of things, but PLEASE keep inviting me!
  • I usually only go to one store per outing. I don't go to the mall, then to the grocery, then to lunch.
  • I occasionally have to sleep longer in the morning or take naps in the afternoon. Call anyway, I'll just let the machine pick up.
  • But DON'T CALL BEFORE 10am!
  • Don't just "stop over". Always call first. Even if you're sitting in my driveway.
  • I always have to consider the health and welfare me AND my dog.
  • Outdoor activities are difficult for me and my dog. Heat, extra water, Stupid People With Intact Pit Bulls On Flexi Leashes -- these are all factors I have to consider.
  • Learn to "scope out" accessibility where ever you go for future outings.
  • If you're planning an event or want to take me someplace new, make sure location is accessible. Just One Step Up is NOT accessible, even though you know I can walk with my cane.

Remember: the best way to be a crip's friend is to just "roll with it" (pun intended). Just ask if you have a question and pay attention to access.

There are NO Stupid Questions, only ignorant shop owners.

-----------------------------------
Disclaimer: These are The WillaWoman's issues. Some may pertain to your crip friend(s), or they may have their own issues to deal with. Ask them.


Hey, let me ask too! CRIPS: What are your specific issues you want others to know about?

Comments

dissok said…
A house is not a house, and a car is not a car without heaps of dog hair everywhere. :)

BTW, I like your blog's new look. (Please tell me that you have updated the look and I am not just imagining it. LOL)
10:03 PM
The WillaWoman said…
Oh, I def updated the look... took me days of trial and error!

Thanks for the compliment!
11:50 PM
Murphy Jacobs said…
I'm not crip-qualified and my cats outnumber my dog 6 to 1 (but she's bigger). I'm enjoying reading your information and comments. My husband and I donate to a "Kids-n-Canines" program, where at-risk teens train service dogs, which is how I first learned about them.

I have a question/comment about the "please stand" thing. The friends I have in wheel/power chairs usually complain about stiff necks leaning back to talk with me (I'm on the tall side). Because I have my own lower back/hip problems, I can't stand still for very long, (and I definately can not stand bent over, so that's no problem) but I can crouch, kneel or just sit on the floor (I have no shame and I don't own white pants) pretty easily if we could not move somewhere there were chairs.

It always seemed a good compromise. I had no idea that some might consider it insulting. If I do get involved in a "standing" conversation with someone in a chair who does't know me well, do I need to explain that my kneeling/sitting has more to do with me than with them, or should I just skip an explanation that might be considered patronizing?

Secondary question -- I do art shows where I sell hand made jewelry. It is usually displayed in such a way as to make customers handling it without assistance difficult(to prevent theft and damage). Very often I help a customer try on a piece by fastening a bracelet or necklace, helping with a tight ring, or holding the mirror while they try on earrings. It occurs to me that someone in a wheelchair might be more sensitive to such "assistance", even though the wheelchair has nothing to do with the situation (in fact, I think I've run into that a time or two). Again, should I refrain from explaining so as not to appear patronizing and just conduct myself as usual, or is there some more graceful way you could suggest to handle this situation?
4:56 PM
Conners said…
I have many disabilities, but don't need a dog to help me...just love and comfort me. THAT she does very WELL and I don't know what I would do without her.
Because of her, she gave me back a will to fight back. Basically, she gave me back my life.
I wanted to give back to the community, now that I received my spirit back, and surprisingly, my health (or at least spirit) rose to become a new me.
I was just getting her and I ready for the St. John Ambulance Course, when WHAMMO! They pulled the plug on (so called Pit bulls) due to the Ontario Pit bull Ban. Shasta is a Staffordshire and EXCELLENT with people. Especially the smiles she would have brought to the seniors and the termanally sick kids. I was sooo disappointed, but some how Shasta and I will help others. I just don't know quite how yet.
Your dogs are BEAUTIFUL! They may require work, but isn't unconditional love worth it!
I love your blog.
4:07 AM
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