www.TheWillaWoman.com

(Be sure to read down to Day 12) On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me The Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Six yards of soggy ribbon Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from t...

I was ready. I thought he was ready. But I was wrong. There, I just admitted in writing that I was wrong. Make a note. Frankie has been doing very well lately with his training. And it appeared that the bonding process was also going well. He still pays some attention to Rick, but the majority of his attention goes to me. The hubby has been off work for the past week or so. These past few days we've gone out, but I've haven't been feeling well enough to shop, so I've stayed in the truck. I decided those times we went out to take Frankie. Even though I didn't need him to work, I kind of wanted to show off Frankie's excellent behavior in the vehicle. The hubby hadn't had the proper tools to do this training (remote shock collars rule!), so when Frankie was transferred over to me, this was one of the first areas I started working on. I demand Civil Car Behavior from my dogs. Well, on these outings, Frankie's Car Behavior was spot-on. The hubby was...

For Christmas this year, the hubby got me a speedometer for my scooter. I had wanted one so I could see just how fast my scooter really goes. I think it kicks ass... ! Of course, I used it today to clock the doggies. Here's their times: WALKING Frankie: 9 mph Willie: 6-7 mph Barney: 4-5 mph RUNNING Frankie: 12.5 mph (as fast as my scooter will go on a slight decline) Willie: 9 mph Barney: You've got to be kidding! I think it's funny that Willie's top speed is Frankie's walking pace. No wonder Willie can't keep up with him!

On Bravo's show "Inside the Actor's Studio", the host would always wrap up the interview with a list of questions (ie. what's your favorite curse word, favorite sound... etc.). The last question he'd ask was: "If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates"? I would want to hear God say: "Your grandpa is right over here."

When your dog is most excited, what are they actually saying? Here are my doggie's famous quotes: Willie: "Ball-eee Ball-eee Ball-eee Ball-eee...!" Frankie: "Watch me... look what I can do!" Barney: "Love me NOW!" Willie : "At your service, ma'am" Frankie : "Whatareyoudoing Whatareyoudoing Whatareyoudoing?" Barney : "I didn't do it... it wasn't me" Willie : "Fooooooooooood" Frankie : "Yeah, sure, I could eat a little something" Barney : "Do you realize it's 2 minutes past dinner time?"

Woman Swallows Cell Phone After Argument BLUE SPRINGS, Mo. (AP) - A lovers' dispute over a cell phone ended suddenly when the woman swallowed the phone whole, police said. Police said they received a call at 4:52 a.m. Friday from a Blue Springs man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a cell phone lodged in her throat. "He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it." Police said an ambulance transported the woman to St. Mary's Medical Center in Blue Springs. A hospital spokeswoman said she couldn't give details about the woman's health since police have not released her identity.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -Robert Benchley Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras If you...

"Hey, we still have that broken VCR you need to fix." "I hate fixing VCR's. VCR's and tape decks. Too many things that can go wrong inside." "Well, what do you like?" "I like you." "Me and pecan pie."

From: Frankie Willaman [frankie@dogzrule.com] Sent: Wednesday, December 21, 2005 1:51 PM To: 'Jack' Subject: Your visit Hi Jack! I really enjoyed our visit. I liked wrestling and playing tug and running around. I wanted to ask you if you could please stop humping me though. Stop humping me when I'm walking around, you can't reach anyway. And stop humping my face. That's gross. Well, I have to take a nap now, I'm really tired. Bye. Frankie ============================= Re: Frankie emails Jack Frankie: Thanks for letting me come over and play! I think its cool that you play like I do, and tell the others (Willie & Barney) thanks for being patient with my playing. As to the humping - I am sorry that I hump you, and will stop doing it if you either let me be alpha, or tell me your alpha. Right now I'm fairly confused! Love and lots of doggie kisses, Jack

How many nicknames do you have for your dog? Here's mine: Willie Wiggle Butt Buddy Boy Big Head Big Boy Villie Villaman Frankie Frank Franklyn Franklyn Green Beans Raymond (see story ) Wiggle McWiggles Dick Head (that's the hubby's fave) Little Boy Barney Bernard Barn Barn Super Barn Barn Barnmeister Doofus Lump Head Handsome Boy Little Man I'll add more as I remember them... What nicknames do you have for your pets (please give original name too)? I have one friend out there (you know who you are, girl!) who better reply. She has TONS of dogs with TONS of nicknames for each and every one... and expects me to keep track!

Conners said... I'm getting confused messages from animal trainers and behaviourists. I live in Canada, but a Service Dog is a Service dog regardless as long as trained and certified. Right? I was told by one that the only 'real' and legal Service Dog is the Seeing eye Dogs. By others, the Service Dogs for the Disabled physically and the Hearing Dogs are just as valid as the Seeing Impaired. Could you pease settle this for me and IF you know of any Canadian Sites, that would be even better. The WillaWoman said... Connors, this is a tough one. The laws in the USA are different than in Canada. In the U.S., access privileges of service dogs are granted through laws passed by each state, as well as the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Fair Housing Act passed by the Federal government. Since I'm unfamiliar with Canadian law, this site here lists a few Canadian Service Dog orgs that may be...

You know you've done a good training job when a store owner notices the improvement and makes a big deal over it. Today, Frankie and I went to the pet store. We hadn't been there in a while, mainly because it just wasn't a good place to train initially. Since I was now doing the final "polishing up" training, I needed to eliminate as many distractions as I could at first so I could concentrate on the actual training. We went to the store today to get some lizard stuff, but also I wanted to see if Frankie had improved enough to deal with all the distractions that come with a pet store. A pet store with a puppy for sale, with a loose "store terrier", and with a big bird named Big Head that has a sign that says "I bite fingers off!". Frankie did great! Even one of the store owners, Sam, noticed. Sam has known Frankie since we first started training him. At first, Sam noticed how attentive Frankie was being towards me. Before, Frankie was so distra...

Gotta get me one of these!

Unfortunately, all that standing has made me hurtie. Enjoy this: A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt. The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where." The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!" Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!" She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!" She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!" The doctor laughed and said, "Don't worry, it's not serious. You've just got a broken index finger." --------- PS. The WillaWoman is blonde. So, yeah, I have the right to joke!

Went to a Herp party on Saturday night (no, not herpes... the Austin Herpetological Society ... oy). Anyway, I brought Baby Doll as the Herp Of The Month. Gave nice talk about her and showed her off. The hubby even hauled in her fake ficus tree to so I could demonstrate her climbing abilities. But it's the little things that made me happy this night. I had to stand a few times, without my cane or crutches because I needed both hands, and maneuver my lizard on her tree. And I did this in front of a group of people... without losing my balance once. That rocks!

I didn't mean yesterday's post to be as snippy as it sounded. I guess I was just trying to relate to others how difficult life can be for someone in a wheelchair. I'm very fortunate. I now live in the warm (well, usually) south. But I didn't always live here. We moved down from Vermont about 8 years ago. Life in Vermont for the wheelchair user was very difficult. Not just the harsh, long winters. A lot of Burlington VT, where we live a good part of the time, was inaccessible. Burlington has this wonderful closed street called The Church Street Marketplace . There they have these great eclectic stores and restaurants with items and food that you won't find anywhere else. But because these Church Street stores were built many moons ago, way before the American's with Disabilities Act of 1991 was enacted, most of the stores are not accessible. "One step up", as we say, is NOT accessible. Legally, they are not required to make any access changes to their b...

Since I'm sitting here, in Austin Texas, looking at icicles hanging from my house's eaves... I thought I'd write about winter's effect on wheelchair users. Getting around in a wheelchair is difficult. There's the obstacles, there's the dirt, there's the stares. Add to that the perils of winter and you've got a recipe for frustration and pain. Pushing a wheelchair thru snow and ice is nearly impossible. The wet snow tends to build up on the tires like a snowball rolling down a hill. Snow that melts and re-freezes creates lovely ice ruts. These slippery ruts are like wheelchair speed bumps. If you ever do make it from your car into a store, be prepared for dirty wheels that track dirt and muck around the store. Oh, and wet wheelchair wheels squeak like the bad wheel on a shopping cart. I usually stop on any available rug or entrance mat and literally "spin my wheels". I grab the wheels and spin them quickly backwards so that the wheels spin but I...

Texas Watches and Warnings URGENT - WINTER WEATHER MESSAGE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AUSTIN/SAN ANTONIO TX 1003 AM CST WED DEC 7 2005 ARCTIC FRONT AND FREEZING RAIN MOVING INTO CENTRAL TEXAS. A COLD ARCTIC AIRMASS WILL MOVE ACROSS SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS TODAY.

Sexy. One word I don't use to describe myself. Hot, maybe. But sexy, no. It's not that my body image has changed since I've started using a wheelchair. I've always had a very healthy ego, sometimes too healthy for my own good. It's just that, for me, sexy has always been associated with what I'm wearing. High heels (f*ck me boots!), short skirts, stuff like that. But when using a wheelchair, it's all about two things: comfort and dirt. Using a wheelchair is dirty business. My hands are basically my feet. They touch the wheels, which are touching the floor. My hands, even with fingerless gloves on, become filthy. In turn, my pants get filthy where ever I touch them with my hands. The sides of my pants also rub on the wheels, getting dirty skidmarks on them. So, no high heels, no short skirts for me. It's jeans and a t-shirt and that's it. But I still look hot. So there.

While getting dressed for an outing yesterday, I was looking at myself in the mirror of our bathroom trying to decide if I was going to wear a vest with my shirt or not. I knew the vest was a size too big, but I liked the colors. As I'm looking in the mirror, in walks the hubby. And then I did it. I blurted out those six words every husband dreads hearing: "Does this make me look fat?" The hubby stood there like a deer in headlights: "Errr" I lost it and cracked up. He's a lucky man... off the hook again.

He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. She is pregnant. When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest. A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman. He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do. As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph. And people say animals are dumb.

Yesterday, Frankie and I went to Petco. I needed to get some supplies for the tank I'm putting together for my soon-to-be-new-pets, some Crested Geckos (thanks, Kati !). Frankie did very well. I hadn't taken him to a pet store in quite a few weeks. I'd found that I really couldn't "train" in a pet store because it's so distracting. What with all the sights and sounds mixed in with all those smells, it's hard to keep him going in the direction I need to go rather than the direction his nose is leading him. Don't get me wrong, pet stores are great training grounds. But your dog has to have the basics down solid before throwing in that many distractions. When I started taking over the training of Frankie, I was at a disadvantage. My only physical "connection" to Frankie is via a short lead attaching his harness to my wheelchair. I basically have no "leash" control like you would normally have... I don't have a leash from my ha...