"Stop the Insanity!"

A recent conversation with my mother:

Mom: Honey?
Me: Uh oh, what?
Mom: Uhhm, I have a small criticism....
Me: Ok....
Mom: Remember, it comes from love.
Me: Ok....
Mom: Do you think you know what it is?
Me: My hair...?
Mom: Well, yeah. Me and your sister were watching your video and think you should stop wearing it like that.
Sis: (Heard in the background) "Tell her it looks like she just got back from a week of camping!"
Me: (cracking up)

Oy.

Ok, here's the dealio. When I first started getting sick, I was still performing in New York with my band Rosetta Stone. Back in those days (the early 90's), we had BIG hair. Lots of mousse and hairspray, the higher the hair, the better.

See?

But on my "bad days", I would just wear it straight, no style, no products. Our drummer would call it my "sick hair". Everyone could always tell when I was having a bad day.

When we moved to Vermont, the bad days were becoming more frequent. Since I wasn't in a band up there, I decided to cut it short. It was a big thing for me, I had been wearing it long all my life. When I had it cut, the hair stylist kept asking if I was sure I wanted to cut it. Apparently, she'd had some bad experiences cutting someone's long hair into a short style...like sobbing and changing their mind in the middle of the cut! I knew I was sure, I told her to keep going. I had her cut it pretty short, above my shoulders, and I had her leave a long tail down the middle of my back.

Tails were in back then... so were mullets...that should tell you something.

I gathered up the long hair clippings from the floor, and later mailed them along with a picture of my new doo to my mother. She was happy that I had cut it, it was a nice housewifey style.

When we moved here to Texas, I went even shorter. I had a very short "Susan Powter" type buzz-cut, dyed it very blonde, and thought I was totally fabulous. And I was!

This is Susan, not me. I'm not as loud.

Turns out my sister hated that hair too. But it was so easy to take care of. And when your energy is limited, you certainly don't want to waste it on styling your hair.

Hence my new hair style, the KOA Klassic. I wear it long, I wash with shampoo only once a month, I use conditioner on it wet and then dry with a towel and don't rinse out the conditioner. I then flip it over my face, add gel, and scrunch. Flip it back over, and let it air dry. I'm trying to follow the recommendations of the "Curly Girl" book. I don't have very curly hair, but I'm able to coax some curl if I do all of this right.


I try to remember to shake it out once it's dry, but that's where I usually go wrong. When I forget to shake it, it looks kinda messy. But hey, low maintenance is the key here. I trim it myself so I don't have to go thru the hassle of making and keeping a salon appointment.

I like it the way it is. It's either this, or it's back to the blonde Marine Induction Haircut.

No, sir.