Bow down to me... Not!

QUESTION: ina said... Now I'm not sure what to do. I always crouch to be at eye level when I'm talking to someone at a table, a kid, or a patient who's stuck in bed. I HATE having to crick my neck if someone - especially someone who's in power (e.g. a doc, when I'm in the OR) -starts talking down at me. It's worse because I'm incredibly near sighted, so I don't feel like I can talk to someone at that angle and know what the heck they're thinking. So am I being condescending to everyone? or should I just keep doing what I've always done? Thanks! ina


ANSWER: Ina brings up an interesting point. I would say that for me, I prefer to have someone not crouch down. In otherwords, don't treat having a conversation with me in the middle of the mall any different than a conversation with an able-bodied person standing in the middle of the mall.

Don't treat me like I'm sitting at a table ('cause I'm not) or like I'm a kid, or like I'm a patient. Talk to me in the same position you'd be in talking to someone standing.

I guess what the moral of the story is here is those of us in wheelchairs are constantly being reminded that we're different. We have to struggle with heavy doors (or push a "special" big button), we have to park in special spots, we have to deal with thick rug padding that is like wheeling thru mud, ... etc. If everyone started bending down to talk with us, it would just serve as another reminder that we're different.

I would rather have someone tower over me than be treated like a child or a patient.

Comments

BarbaraMG said…
Great question and thank you for the honest answer. I work with many clients that are in wheelchairs and have wondered this question myself. To add tot hat question is it offensive to pull up a chair or stool if one is nearby?
Found you through blog explosion. :)
12:37 AM
Dave Knechel said…
I agree. Not really related, but, years ago, when I was about 16, I had a friend whose mother was stone deaf. He used to pull the plug on her vacuum cleaner as she was going around the house. She would finally realize the dang thing wasn't working and figure it out. She used to get very angry with him, but, years later she laughed.

As far as Barbara's last question, I would think it would be appropriate for you to pull up a chair if that's what would make you comfortable. To sit and relax a spell. Why not?
12:03 PM
Anonymous said…
Hi! Thanks for the straight-forward answer. The only friend I've had in a wheelchair was someone I always met while we were both sitting at a table anyhow (writing group thingy) so it wasn't an issue. This is helpful :)
4:18 PM
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