Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Farts

Over the years of working Service Dogs, I've learned there's one big drawback: Farts. Sorry for the topic, but it must be discussed. It's a fact of life and something you have to be prepared for if you're deciding to get a working dog.

Willie is a pure-bred lab and therefore has the inherent irritable gut syndrome of most pure breeds. Any small change in his diet and he gets the farts. I've tried different veterinarian-recommended foods, acidophilus, chicken and rice... still farts. Sometimes you can almost see these farts, they're so thick. Ew.

The Most Embarrassing Times Your SDog WILL Fart:

• At the doctor's office. You know, when they bring you into the exam room and you sit waiting for the doctor. The dog farts, it wafts throughout the room, and then the doc walks in. Bad timing.
• At a restaurant. Nuff said. Ew.
• At church.
• Driving in the car... with your mother-in-law. Or your boss. Or a date.
  
• In an office... with the door closed... at a major company... during a job interview.

Thing To Avoid: If someone else farts, and you think it was your sdog, but you're not sure... don't say "sorry, my dog just farted". Potentially embarassing. You will have to learn how to differentiate human from dog fart smell. Ain't it great.

My advice: Carry a sage smudge stick in your car's ash tray. Carry a small bottle of spray perfume in your purse. Guys, take up smoking cigars and whip one out when needed.

There is one positive to all this. If you happen to ever let one go yourself, you can always blame it on the dog.


Of course, I never fart. Ever.